Mindset Breakdown#
Recently, I've been silent on Twitter for a long time and haven't updated my status; many might have guessed the reason. Since the TST loss of $300,000, only $50,000 remained. I managed to rebuild to about $140,000 through PVP operations, but then lost another $100,000 in the alpaca project, hitting rock bottom again. Two consecutive years of losses (a total loss of $600,000 in 2024) have trapped my operations in a vicious cycle: investment losses lead to a breakdown in mindset, emotional decay triggers anxiety, which in turn leads to worse decisions and exacerbated losses. This post is not a complaint but a deep reflection to identify the root problems and force myself to break free from this quagmire.
Review of Operations#
Looking back at the losses during this period, on the surface, they seem to be due to market fluctuations and bad luck, but the deeper reason lies in my own issues. My operations were completely unplanned, often placing orders based on feelings, without setting stop-loss points, like a headless fly bumping around. With even slight market fluctuations, I hurried to stop losses, then chased highs and sold lows, resulting in unclear losses. After losing, emotional trading intensified; in a bid to recover quickly, I blindly followed popular wallets, chased trending projects, and heavily invested based on so-called "insider" information, leading to more chaos and greater losses, completely dominated by emotions.
What pains me the most is that repeated losses have triggered self-doubt. From initially bouncing back quickly to later becoming numb, I began to question whether I was being eliminated by the market and whether I was suited for investing. In endless self-blame, I fell into a state of decay: watching videos, playing games, going out for fun daily, using dopamine to temporarily numb myself, refusing to review losses, and adopting a "let it be" mentality, resulting in continued worsening losses.
Always wrong, always losing; one misstep leads to another.
To this day, I still can't let go. Whenever the night is quiet, I recall those missed big opportunities, having been in the crypto space for years without achieving significant results.
What now? To be honest, I once gave up on myself completely and fell into total decay. Sigh!
Writing this, I realize I can't continue like this. Short-term losses are not scary; what’s scary is being trapped in this state for the long term. I must pick myself up, redefine my state, and start anew!
This post marks my new starting point and is a commitment to myself. I refuse to be shackled by losses and decay; I must take responsibility. Investing is a long-distance race, and emotions and mindset are the gear; I must fix the gear first to run further.
If you are also experiencing similar lows, I hope we can work together to overcome the difficulties. If you have successfully made it, please share your experiences and advice; thank you very much!
Possible Issues#
- Is my position too heavy? The market is not short of opportunities; there's no need to heavily invest in a single trade, and high leverage compresses the margin for error.
- Reviewing the operations of alpaca and TST, should I consider a different approach and try to find opportunities in less competitive areas?
Lessons Learned#
- Reduce leverage and trading frequency, and exit promptly after making a profit. Initially, I would deliberately limit the number of trades, but now trading feels like an annual opportunity. Full-position trading and not setting stop losses have become the norm, but holding onto losing positions feels like experiencing death.
- Continue to study alpha and find a suitable track for myself.
- Position management is crucial; accumulating funds through more withdrawals can improve my mindset.
from @crypto_biubiu
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